Knotted
by K.D. Sparrow
Summary: Penny Holden attempts to navigate her life as someone who has fallen in love with the God of Mischief and Lies. Can she allow herself to love Loki as he commits atrocities and could she ever forgive him? Follows Spaceman, and Beautiful Distraction. Loki/OC Events throughout Avengers and beyond into The Dark World.
1. Momentum

A/N: Just quickly before we begin, this is a continuation of my Spaceman Series, it is a Loki/OC story that follows my Spaceman, and Beautiful Distraction. Enjoy!

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><p>Penny Holden held her breath as she heard footsteps down the hall. She pressed herself against the back wall of the cupboard. She listened in darkness as the footsteps neared her hiding place. Her heart was racing as they slowed to a stop just outside the door. She steeled herself for discovery. When the door swung open Penny was momentarily blinded by the light but she didn't let that stop her from bursting out past the familiar face. She bolted down the hallway desperately hoping not to get caught, she ran as quick as she could, her pace quickening when she felt his presence right beside her.<p>

"Penny!" He called out to her as she turned around a corner.

Penny fought a smile as she glanced behind her before running straight into another person. She whispered a quick apology before looking up to find one very disapproving eye staring her down. Nick Fury did not seem impressed with her antics.

"Grant." Fury adjusted his gaze from Penny to the agent behind her

Grant waited a moment to catch his breath.

"Sorry Sir, I was just…" he paused and looked over at Penny, his eyes begging for aid.

Penny smiled charmingly at Fury and panted slightly.

"He was just helping me with my fitness." Her gaze shifted to Grant who nearly rolled his eyes.

Fury raised an eyebrow.

"We want to keep in shape." Grant nodded, still breathing heavily.

Penny patted Grant on the back.

"And stave off boredom." Her eyes twinkled at Grant's weary expression.

Fury eyed them for a moment.

"Mmmhhmmmm. Miss Holden," he paused and took out his phone, "Perhaps you should try to 'keep in shape' in the fitness room rather than-

Fury stopped and frowned before pressing a button on his phone, turning abruptly and briskly walking away.

Grant furrowed his eyebrows.

Penny shrugged.

"Well let's take a moment to thank whoever just took Fury's attention off of us." Her eyebrows rose as she looked up at the sky as if to suggest divine intervention.

"It's probably some nefarious criminal." Grant's eyes narrowed.

"Fine Debby-downer," she paused looking at the now empty hallway, "So…" Penny sent him a mischievous glance.

"No! Nope! I caught you, you're here!" His eyes were wide with fear.

She winked at him and started running.

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><p>Penny's days at S.H.I.E.L.D were long and uneventful. She did what she could to keep herself occupied. She had her own small room that was devoid of any real personal touches. After daily nagging, however, Grant arranged to have her sketchbook brought aboard. The pages were now littered with oceanic views that had become a part of her daily scenery. Penny would often go out on the deck and sit and watch the waves. It became part of her daily routine, along with finding new and terrible ways to keep Grant on his toes.<p>

Penny's relationship with Grant had shifted since they had lived together. There was the same sense of companionship but after everything that had happened it was impossible for either of them to ignore the feeling of loss. Penny hadn't realized before just how much Turner had influenced their relationship. He had been such a huge part of the dynamic they had back in Texas and New Mexico. It wasn't just the loss of Turner that altered Penny's and Grant's relationship. Things were different at the base. For the most part Penny was on her own; Grant would visit her sporadically throughout the day but they were on a ship in the middle of the ocean. There wasn't much she could do to cause any real trouble. Nevertheless, she would have to check in every now and then.

The monotony of Penny's days was hard to break, especially because she wasn't allowed to use a telephone. This infuriated her, and she knew that her mother was probably quite concerned for her. E-mails were her only communication with the outside world. She kept contact with Sloane which helped her maintain sanity amidst boredom. Sloane was wary of the process because she was very particular of her privacy but she was also very fond of Penny and so they wrote to each other.

With all of her free time Penny often found her thoughts drifting back to her Spaceman. She couldn't fathom her life without him and she hated that. He had inadvertently done so much for her. He had awoken her from her mundane existence and allowed her to find herself again. She realized that was a big part of why she loved him so much. With Loki she felt like she was just being Penny. She didn't need to change who she was for him as she did for Blake. Nor did she need to hide her emotions from him and put on a show as she had found herself doing for her friends at times. Their relationship baffled her, not always because she often considered him to be out of her league and slightly unhinged but because it seemed impossible. They were from different worlds and because of that they had extremely different views on life.

Penny tried to make sense of her falling for him but she couldn't do it. There was no sense to their love. They didn't need to be together, there was no reason for their coupling. In fact there were many reasons why they shouldn't be together. Yet she had fallen in love with him. Something inside of her knew that a part of her would always love him. She had an odd sense of belonging throughout her entire Loki ordeal. Her strange serendipitous path that began the moment she met Loki was one that felt natural. It didn't make sense to her but it felt oddly right. Even through all the heartbreak and fear she never felt the need to run away. Of course she had considered it; thought about letting everything go and moving on but she was too involved. Penny's life had somehow gotten tangled up with Loki's and she made the decision to see it through.

Recently, a feeling of dread began to gnaw at Penny's composure. If she was being honest with herself it was a feeling that began in her early days with Loki. He was dangerous, it was obvious but that wasn't the sole reason for her dread. Her anxiety stemmed from the knowledge that she still fell for Loki, knowing of his darkness. She fell for him and she still loved him even after discovering how frightening he could be. Penny didn't know what that meant about her. She had ignored that bad to indulge in the good. She often wondered how far her tolerance would go. _Would she still love Loki if…?_ She couldn't bring herself to finish the question. She tried to make it seem to Loki that she didn't forgive so easily but in truth her heart didn't care about forgiveness or fear; it just wanted Loki. This was what terrified her most about the entire situation.

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><p>When Penny awoke the next morning she could hear a slight hustle and bustle outside of her door. She sighed and rose up. She took a few minutes to get ready, though she sped her routine up slightly; intrigued to find out what the commotion was about. Grant was waiting for her outside her door.<p>

"Good morning." She smiled at him.

He gave her a quick grin and nod.

Penny looked around; the normally quiet hallway was bustling with people. She looked to Grant for an answer, "So what's going on?"

He let out an exasperated sigh.

"Remember yesterday when you wanted to thank the person who distracted Fury?" His eyes darkened with judgement.

She nodded uncomfortably.

"Well," he looked right into her eyes, "You can thank your boyfriend."

Penny's heart dropped.

"I don't have-

"He somehow messed with equipment in one of our main facilities and the whole thing collapsed; it's completely gone." Grant continued.

"Is everyone okay?" Her eyes widened.

"Most had time to evacuate but not all." He shook his head.

_But not all. _The words flipped around in Penny's head and fear began to spread through every nerve. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find anything to say.

Grant looked down the hallway.

"You're supposed to have a meeting, I'll walk you over." He sighed somewhat defeated.

"Meeting? Over where?" She blinked slowly.

"Follow me."

Penny hastily followed Grant through the sea of agents and personnel. Her head was pounding as she attempted to slow her rapid heartbeat. Grant didn't say anything while they walked, she was grateful for this. She tried to come up with some sort of reasoning or understanding of what was going on but all she felt was sorrow. Lives were lost. Whatever he was planning was beginning. Fear washed over her as she realized that she might have lost the love of her life to his own demons.

The duo reached a door and Grant gestured to it.

"Inside. I'll be out here for you."

Penny nodded and headed into the room. A woman sat at a desk, there was a chair on the opposite side. The rest of the room was empty. Penny swallowed nervously; she was in an interrogation room. She entered slowly, pausing as the door clicked behind her. The noises of the commotion outside died quickly.

The woman gestured to the chair across from her.

"Take a seat Miss Holden."

Penny did as she was told as she attempted to breathe steadily.

"I am Agent Hill and I'm going to ask you some questions." Hill looked directly into Penny's eyes without emotion.

Penny nodded.

Hill continued.

"Miss Holden, are you familiar with the object known as the Tesseract?"

Penny shook her head.

Hill studied her for a moment before passing her phone across the table.

"Have you ever seen any object similar to the one in that picture?"

Penny looked at the phone's screen to find what appeared to be a glowing blue cube. She frowned slightly trying to remember if she had ever seen it before but it was unfamiliar to her. She shook her head again.

"No."

Hill retrieved her phone. She leaned forward and looked directly into Penny's eyes.

"Do you have any information regarding Loki, his whereabouts, or his plans?"

Penny sighed.

"No." Her face fell a little.

Agent Hill maintained her gaze on Penny.

"You were in contact with Loki for months. Do you have any information concerning him that you would consider to be of assistance to our current predicament?"

Penny shrugged.

"He's smart. He's strong." She thought back through her memories with him- truly trying to recall anything that could be of use to them. Little things flitted about her mind; Loki's rare laugh, the unimpressed expression he used for a select few of her friends, the smile he kept for her, his kiss. She sighed, "I don't know, I don't know anything about all this."

Hill caught Penny with a steely gaze.

"Miss Holden you have been known to keep information from us in the past and I would like to inform you that if you are doing that now there are many lives at risk. The situation is not contained, it is not personal. This is a global predicament."

Penny met Hill's scrutiny with honesty.

"I don't know anything I'm sorry. I… the last thing I want is for people to get hurt."

The agent studied her for a moment before thanking her for her time and sending her back out to Grant. Penny moved slowly, unsure of what she was feeling. The rest of the day continued in a blur.

That night Penny lay in bed contemplating the day she had experienced. She could feel the hum of the ship pulsing under her skin. She felt like every moment she had with Loki was building to what was about to happen. She knew there was more. Yesterday had simply been Loki's introduction, she feared about what he might have in store for them. She realized she distanced herself from everyone in her mind. There was Loki, there was everybody else, and then there was her. She knew a similar, albeit more complex and pompous, distinction existed in Loki's mind.

Penny found herself wishing for Loki. If only she could speak with him. She ran through scenarios of what she might say if she did see him. She felt anger, plenty of anger. She felt pity and resentment. But overall she felt an overwhelming sense of heartache for what could have been. She thought through her history with him and wondered what she could have done differently. She wished for more time, if only she had forced him to be more honest with her. If only she hadn't turned a blind eye to what he was doing. She compared the way Loki was when she first met him to when she had last seen him. The difference was drastic. Why didn't she push him to talk to her, why couldn't she answer more of Hill's questions? She rolled over onto her side. She found it darkly amusing that all she could think of was Loki whereas he probably hadn't given her much thought since their last parting. Penny wondered if she was still fighting for him. She fell asleep without an answer, a ghost of a voice whispering _Sleep Well_ echoing through her mind.

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><p>Kella popped her bubble gum as she stood waiting in an alley not far from the bank she was planning to rob. She was waiting for her current partner in crime; he called himself Jett and wasn't necessarily the most skilled person to be working with but she knew he had a kid he sent money to and he didn't try to feel her up after a job so she put up with him. Kella was more than capable of doing a job herself but it made it easier to have someone collect the take while she controlled the situation.<p>

Kella had been 14 when she realized she had abilities different from other girls her age. At first everything was overwhelming but over the years she had learned to handle her extraordinary mutation with ease. Kella had the ability to manipulate sensory performance, she could play with her own senses and those of others who were in her vicinity. Large crowds were harder and required more focus and effort but she had proven capable many times over. Kella had grown most accustomed to playing with people's vision and hearing, sometimes she would enhance the senses, and sometimes she would hinder them so completely that a person would believe they were going deaf or blind. She found that people were easy to negotiate with when they feared they might never be able to see or hear again- not that she was actually capable of such a permanent feat. Her back up plan always fell to manipulating someone's sense of touch. She hated doing it but pain was an incredible motivator and if she was in a sticky situation she could make a quick pinch feel absolutely excruciating.

Kella's biggest concern was being discovered. She often mused about how her criminal lifestyle was not entirely risk free so she kept an insanely low profile. She had rarely used her real since her foster father had passed away when she was eighteen. In fact as Jett rounded the corner to meet her he greeted her as Lily.

The job went well. They hit the bank just as the last teller was closing up. Kella had been able to quickly mess with the video surveillance which helped with her anonymity but also put pressure on her and Jett to move extra quickly in case of the arrival of the local police. There was only one teller and a security guard present. Kella first removed their sight and enhanced their hearing so they could listen to her whisper. She threatened the loss of their senses while calmly informing them she was also armed with a gun. The teller followed her instructions while she took the security guard's hearing away. The security guard sat, unmoving, with a few tears glimmering in his eyes. Kella's resolve did not weaken but she felt her stomach flip few times uneasily. Jett gathered the money quickly and the pair departed from the bank hastily. Once they reached the alley they ran together, they weaved through a few blocks until they reached Kella's car, silently jumping in as fast as they could.

The 1969 Pontiac Firebird grumbled to life and Kella was quick to press the platform of her shoe on to the gas pedal. They sped out of town and kept going for a few hours. Kella dropped Jett off at his house with his half of the money and paused for a moment in his driveway to check her make-up. She was expertly re-applying her hot pink lipstick when her phone started to ring. She smacked her lips together before answering.

"Hello?"

_"Samantha?"_

Kella paused for a moment, unsure what to say. Her 'Samantha' alias was connected to a time that she had nearly been caught.

"Uhhh yeah…"

_"This is Clint Barton."_

Kella's expression widened into uneasiness. She bit her lip.

"Oh hey… how'd you get this number?"

_"I am calling to offer you a job. The position would be completely anonymous."_

She paused, wondering how to handle the situation.

"I don't think I'm really government material."

_"This is not a federal opportunity nor is it legal."_

She let out a little laugh.

"Well the government and legality don't always go together."

_"This job is completely distanced from any organization. The pay would be much higher than any bank job you are capable of. Would you like to accept?"_

Kella sighed. She had liked Clint before he had turned out to be a fed. The promise of high pay entailed danger and sketchiness but Kella's curiosity got the better of her.

"Yeah, I'll do it."

_"Excellent, I will text you information."_

"Okay, sounds mysterious."

Clint hung up.

"Okay." She threw her phone onto the seat beside her.

Kella figured that if it was a trap she might be able to fight her way out, besides they already had her phone number who knew what other kind of traps they could brew for her. And if it wasn't a trap than she might be able to take a vacation from robbing small town banks for a while.

Her phone buzzed as Clint's information reached her. She sighed.

"Uh oh, what am I getting into now?"

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><p>Loki watched Barton as the former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D made calls to gather more allies. Deciding he had some time to himself Loki pulled away and leaned against a wall. He took a few deep breaths and let his head roll back. Hot pain coursed through his entire body but he also felt a thrum of excitement pulse through him. Everything was happening. His plan was complete and in motion. Nothing would be the same in his life ever again. In fact his life had been hurtling in a completely new direction for some time now and he had no intention of slowing his own momentum. To him the future shone bright before his eyes. He felt unstoppable.<p>

Somewhere in the back of his mind Loki knew happiness was not in his destiny. He knew he could have power and revenge and he truly believed it was all he wanted. However, there was one thought that plagued him. Penny Holden. How he had allowed himself to become so involved baffled his own logic. It was too late for her now. He felt like his arrival for S.H.I.E.L.D might have thrown her away from him. Perhaps forced her to see him as he saw himself. Despite the fact that he might have lost her Loki still wanted her. Despite everything that was set in motion Loki yearned for Penny's touch; for her gaze, for her scent, her smile, her laugh, her love. He touched his lip in thought. Just how could he possess Midgard without losing the woman he craved?

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><p>"Well that was exciting." Penny looked over to Grant as she rose from her seat.<p>

Grant shrugged.

"Oh, you know, just everyday S.H.I.E.L.D stuff." His giddy smile betrayed his nonchalance.

Penny laughed.

"Oh yeah, your boats just turn into giant helicopter-thingys all the time?"

Grant smiled widened as he reached to grab his phone. He read the screen for a moment before heading out into the hallway.

"Come on. You've got places to be."

Penny sighed and followed him. She had been quite surprised when she heard the ship's engine's song increase in volume as the entire vessel began its ascent. It was something out of a crazy action movie and she was living it. She fell into place beside Grant and allowed herself to mull over that oddities that now freckled her life.

"Oh my god…" Grant whispered under his breath, his usual composed countenance showing uncharacteristic excitement that he quickly quashed as his normal expression returned.

Penny followed his gaze to see a red-haired woman and a spectacled man walking down the hall towards them. The two pairs slowed their paces and met in the hallway.

Grant exhaled in way that made Penny think he was a bit nervous. He nodded at the woman.

"Agent Romanoff."

The woman returned the nod and turned to Penny who was looking at her companion with a bemused expression.

"Miss Holden."

Penny smiled at her.

"Hi!"

Grant cleared his throat.

"Uh, Penny, this is Agent Romanoff and, um, Doctor Banner. They're working on Loki's case."

Penny's smile faltered slightly at the mention of Loki's name but she remained cheery.

Romanoff turned back to Grant.

"Perhaps you two could follow us to the Lab to run some tests?"

Grant seemed speechless for a moment.

"Um, I got an order to bring her to the bridge."

Penny's face lit up.

"The bridge! Really? The last time I was there I…" she saw Grant's subtle disapproving glance, "I got yelled at."

Grant turned back to Romanoff and began to explain his orders.

Penny looked at the Doctor.

"So you don't seem very," she waved her arms about, "S.H.I.E.L.D-y."

Banner chuckled softly.

"No, they… recruited me for my work with Gamma radiation."

Penny grinned.

"Cool… I don't know what that is. It sounds scientific. So are you like a science doctor rather than a medical doctor?"

He returned her smile.

"Yeah, among other things."

Penny was going to question him further but Grant touched her shoulder.

"Okay, so we're headed to the bridge quickly and then over to the lab to run some tests on you."

Penny frowned.

"I don't like the sound of that. Will there be needles?"

Grant sighed and gently pushed Penny to get her walking down the hallway.

Penny turned back to her new acquaintances.

"See you later." She waved at them as she walked away.

For a moment Grant and Penny walked in silence before Grant started shaking his head.

"You know I get to meet the most interesting people because of you."

Penny smiled.

"You're welcome. What happened to you back there? You got a crush on Romanoff?"

Grant's eyes widened.

"A crush on Natasha Romanoff? No. Just… she's… awesome! She's like so… crazy awesome. She is like the ultimate S.H.I.E.L.D agent. I've never seen her before that was like the most exciting thing. They call her Black Widow."

Penny took this information in.

"Huh. That sounds very ominous."

Grant nodded and gestured behind him.

"And Doctor Banner. Well, he is a genius and also…" he paused and glanced at her before shrugging, "And also super… smart."

Penny frowned mockingly.

"Isn't that kind of what genius means?"

Grant let out a little laugh.

"And, the guy we're about to meet… Penny, this is the coolest day of my life."

Penny laughed as they made their way on to the bridge of the helicarrier.

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><p>AN: HELLO! Hi there! Wow! This is all very exciting and if you are reading this then congratulations because you have my undying love! So excited to chill with y'all again, hope you liked this chapter! Not a Loki I know :( but it's kind of his fault, he's being a poo during this time in his life.

Love, love, love you allllll!


	2. It Begins

The bridge was an incredibly impressive aspect of the helicarrier, especially now that the vessel had taken off into the sky. Penny's eyes widened in delight and excitement as she took in the view above the clouds. Some of her excitement stemmed from Grant who, for a government agent, was practically giddy. Penny tried to absorb the enthusiasm. She tried to take in the enjoyment and professionalism of S.H.I.E.L.D. In truth it was rather interesting to be meeting new people with their unique and intriguing skills but it did cause Penny to feel a bit like an outsider. She refused to dwell on those feelings, however, because it made her long for the sense of belonging she felt in a particularly notorious Asgardian's arms. Penny looked up to catch a wink from Grant who looked over to Director Fury and a broad-shouldered man Penny didn't recognize.

Fury turned to the pair as they approached.

"Ah, Miss Holden. I'd like to introduce you to Captain Steve Rogers."

Penny extended her hand to shake the Captain's.

"Hi, I'm Penny."

He nodded at her while he shook her hand.

"Pleasure to meet you."

Penny smiled and caught Grant's gaze as he was looking at her expectantly. She looked between the three men as a quiet moment passed. Unwilling to allow awkwardness seep into the conversation she spoke up.

"So Captain. Like Captain of the ship?" she gestured around her.

Before the Captain could respond Grant's voice leapt into the conversation.

"No!" he quieted himself as Penny turned to him, "No, Penny… Captain like…" he pulled Penny aside and lowered his voice further, "Captain America. Steve Rogers? Captain America?"

Penny's eyes squinted in thought.

"Like the superhero from the forties?" She glanced over at the blonde who was attentively listening to Fury as he spoke to him.

Grant nodded.

"Yeah that's him."

Penny raised an eyebrow.

"Well it can't be 'him'."

Grant nodded again.

"Oh yeah it is. Super soldier who crashed into ice during the second World War wakes up in the twenty first century."

Penny shook her head.

"That's-

She paused as she looked over at the man. She realized that nothing was really unbelievable anymore. She met Grant's eyes. She shrugged.

"Okay."

The twosome shuffled back to where the super-soldier and the spy stood. Fury turned to Grant.

"Grant, I'd like to have a word with you."

Penny eyed Fury as he walked away with Grant in tow. She bit her lip.

"So, you're 'Captain' like 'Captain America'." She winced slightly at her lack of tact.

The corners of his lips twitched upwards.

"Yes. Yes I am."

Penny smiled before a touch of concern hit her features.

"Oh. So wait, you were last awake in World War II and then all of a sudden you wake up to this."

Captain Rogers' eyes rose to meet hers. He nodded.

"It's a bit of an adjustment."

She frowned slightly.

"Yeah, I'll bet. I mean… all that… history… and all that war…" Penny thought about how messed up Captain America's life must be. "I'm sorry."

He nodded once more.

"Well, it's the life of a soldier I suppose." His eyes betrayed the hurt he felt.

Penny felt the overwhelming urge to cheer him up.

"Yup. Gunfire and time travel. Standard stuff."

The Captain smiled and Penny gave herself a high five in her mind.

Grant and Fury returned to the conversation.

"So Penny. Do you think you could give Captain Rogers any insight about Loki?" Grant nodded encouragingly.

Penny nearly rolled her eyes but then she realized that to an agent like Grant she was something important to show off to the big shots in S.H.I.E.L.D, no wonder he was so giddy. Loki had caused this incredible uproar and unfortunately she was the one of the closest things S.H.I.E.L.D had to a lead. She sighed, despite the fact that it was annoying she'd do her best to impress Grant's colleagues.

"Well, he's very strong. Uh… he's a bit crazy." She paused, scrambling for anything that could be useful.

Rogers chimed in.

"Do you know if he relied on any particular fighting style similar to anything we've learned on earth?"

She frowned.

"I didn't really see him fight very often."

Fury turned to her.

"Describe him."

Penny looked to him.

"Like physically?"

Fury shook his head.

"As if you were creating a personality profile for him."

Penny nodded.

"Okay. He's very intelligent. Strategically intelligent. Um… he's manipulative. He's very logical but he's fueled by emotion. He has control over his emotions but they're very powerful. He will wield reason over passion though. He's ruthless. He's determined- once he gets his mind set on something its game over. He's very strong. He's… messed up. He's sad. Lonely. But he won't let himself admit it. He's proud. He holds a grudge but…" she sighed. "But I think he can forgive. He's stubborn though. Really good at arguing. Really good with words in general." She paused. She had attempted to focus on only things that S.H.I.E.L.D would need to know but Loki's smile kept flashing through her memories, "He's magic and he…"

She stopped. _And he loves me_.

"And he… what?" Grant leaned forward.

Penny blinked a few times.

"And he… he um…" all she could think about was every good moment she had with Loki, she struggled to find something useful. "He… uh… something's up with him."

The three men stared at her expectantly.

"Could you elaborate?" Fury's eyebrows were raised.

Penny shrugged trying to figure out how to word the change she had noticed in Loki.

"I don't know… he's just more… manic."

She nodded.

Grant whistled low.

"Sounds like a keeper."

Penny glared at him.

Rogers seemed a bit more sensitive to Penny's feelings as he looked to her earnestly and thanked her. Penny smiled and nodded before Grant led her back out the way they came.

Penny was excited to be meeting Grant's famed colleagues but at the same time she felt a bit funny about everything that was happening, essentially the little bit that she could offer up was being used to take down Loki. She had mixed feelings about that. She was angry at Loki. Angry at him because he wouldn't listen to her. Really deep down in her heart she was angry because it felt like he had a choice and he didn't choose her. It hurt. She thought about how she would face him when S.H.I.E.L.D caught up to him (which she believed was going to happen). She thought a lot about what she would say.

Penny realized that throughout her life, even in her past relationships she had attempted to keep some emotional distance from herself and other people. She had now realized that it was this fact that had prevented her relationship with Blake from growing into something substantial. Obviously Blake had acted selfishly and idiotically but Penny could see her own distant self as a contributor to the end of the relationship. It was because of her own walls that the betrayal from Becky had hurt more than the betrayal from Blake.

With Loki everything had been different. It was unexpected. He was charming. It was meant to be fun. And it was fun and then all of a sudden she was hopelessly in love. It wasn't like anything she had ever felt before. She had truly fallen in love. She had given him a piece of herself and he had practically thrown it away. That was how she felt anyway. She decided that the next time she saw Loki she would be angry. She would be ready. Ready to let him go. Ready for him to truly break her heart.

Penny was so lost in thought that Grant had to wave his hand over her face.

Penny jumped out of her thoughts and smiled to Grant who was holding a door open for her, she looked beyond Grant to see the agent and doctor from before.

As they entered the lab Grant turned to Penny.

"So we're just running a few tests on you today, just to find out if you've come into contact with any dangerous articles Loki may possess."

Grant led her to a chair where Penny sat apprehensively.

"Alright, I'm going to go ahead and say I'm not great with needles. I mean I don't faint or anything but I get all tense and nervous-

"There won't be any needles." Banner smiled at Penny as he attached a clip onto her left forefinger.

Penny managed a small smile, comforted by the Doctor's tone. "Oh good."

Romanoff slid off the table she was sitting on and moved towards Penny.

"Miss Holden, while Doctor Banner runs his test do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Uh," Penny slid her eyes from Banner, who was pulling a transparent screen down to his eye level and bringing it to life, to Romanoff who was watching her with amiable gaze. "Yeah that's fine."

Romanoff smiled, "Alright, now I know that it may be difficult to talk about some of the things I'm going to ask you about but I know you'll do your best."

Penny marveled at the way Romanoff managed to deliver her words with compassion and authority equally. She was in the presence of another silver tongue.

Banner stepped away from his screen with another cord attached to a little pad. He made his way over to Penny as Romanoff began her questioning.

"Miss Holden, Penny… do you mind if I call you Penny?"

Penny shook her head while Banner moved closer to her again. He leaned forward with the cord.

"I'm going to attach this just below your collarbone."

Penny nodded. Banner's cautious hands softly pressed the wire pad onto Penny's skin.

Romanoff continued.

"When you first met Loki why didn't you report him to the authorities?"

Penny cleared her throat softly.

"He seemed injured… and kind of harmless. I didn't feel the need to report him."

Romanoff contemplated Penny's words for a moment.

"If he was injured why didn't you take him to the hospital? Why did you take him home?" her eyes stayed on Penny's.

"I don't know… well… he fell from the sky." Penny spoke slowly. "He was magic. And he told me not to take him to the hospital. And I didn't understand how he appeared or how he was doing the things he was doing."

The agent leaned forward.

"What was he doing?"

Penny shrugged.

"He changed clothes. Like all of a sudden. One second he looked he was visiting from a renaissance fair and then when I looked over again he was wearing completely normal clothes. And he fell… from the sky. There was no logical explanation."

Romanoff tilted her head.

"Were you afraid?"

Penny shook her head.

"No, no I… I wanted to help him." She thought back to that very first moment. She remembered looking into his eyes for the first time. She recalled what she saw within him. "He was in pain."

"He was injured badly?"

Penny frowned.

"Well, yes. And…" she looked up into Romanoff's eyes and found something resembling compassion, "And he seemed sad."

Romanoff raised an eyebrow.

Penny bit her lip.

"I don't know what exactly you want to know from me but… to take down Loki you probably don't want to go down the emotional route."

A hint of a smile touched the agent's lips.

"Oh and why is that?"

Penny laughed slightly.

"Because it will just piss him off." She sighed. "When we first met he was in pain. But he has changed, I mean he is still mega messed up but… he doesn't care as much."

Romanoff studied Penny.

"What do you mean?"

Penny pursed her lips.

"He doesn't really care about his own emotions anymore… it's difficult to explain. He's done with feeling sorry for himself I think. He's over feeling insignificant and underestimated. He just doesn't care. He's here to do what he pleases and he doesn't care about the consequences."

Romanoff leaned back.

"You seem to know him quite well."

Penny sighed.

"Yeah… maybe. Who knows, he's known for being a liar. All the time we spent together could have been one big lie."

Banner came out from behind his screen reminding Penny of his presence. She looked over at the doctor as he moved closer to her.

Bruce smiled at her, he nodded at Romanoff who sat back on to her table.

"Sorry to interrupt." He lowered his glasses. "I noticed some remnants of foreign energy in your scan."

Penny's eyes widened.

"What? Where? What does that mean?"

Bruce pointed just below her collarbone before withdrawing quickly, not wanting to make awkward gestures towards Penny's chest.

Romanoff sat up, "The brief said that Loki places the staff right above the heart before transferring the mind control energy."

Penny frowned.

"Okay I don't know what y'all are talking about." She brought her hand up to where Bruce had pointed. Realization dawned on her expression. "My necklace. That's where my necklace hung."

Banner turned to her.

"What kind of necklace?" He looked over to Natasha, "The energy signatures are very different than the data I've received from you guys."

Penny bit her lip.

"Loki gave me a necklace. I was supposed to hand it in but I didn't. He could find me with it. I was moving around a lot and he doesn't exactly have a phone I can just call up. So necklace."

Romanoff watched her carefully.

"What happened to it?"

Penny looked away.

"Lorelai destroyed it."

There was a moment of silence and when Penny looked up it seemed as though Banner and Romanoff had been having a silent conversation. They both looked at her before Bruce returned to his screen and Romanoff resumed her interrogation posture.

"So he gave you a necklace?"

Penny nodded.

Romanoff took a breath.

"So it does seem like he has quite the interest in you and yet you think it could have been an act?"

Penny frowned.

"Did I say that?"

Romanoff quoted.

"One big lie."

Penny's sightline extended beyond what was in front of her.

"I don't know. It could've been right? Everyone said he was just playing me."

Romanoff spoke slowly, unwilling to break Penny from wherever her mind was.

"What did he want from you? What was he playing you for?"

Penny's throat tightened.

"That's just it. I don't know. There is nothing I have to offer him. I mean after I took him in and drove him to New Mexico. After that there was nothing. It was just us."

Romanoff tried to prompt Penny further.

"You fell in love with him."

Penny felt her eyes begin to sting.

"I did."

Romanoff encouraged her to keep talking.

"And he…"

Penny felt her heart beat.

"And he fell for me." She snapped out of her reverie. "It hasn't really worked out for either of us."

Romanoff sensed that Penny was finished with sharing. She waited until Penny's eyes met hers again.

"You are doing the right thing now. Being here. Helping to stop him."

Penny nodded.

"Oh I know. If I could be more help I would. But the truth of the matter is that I'm useless. All I've got is a sketchbook and a sob story."

Romanoff smiled encouragingly.

"You're cooperation is helping us."

Penny shrugged.

"Well cooperating is the only real option here isn't it?"

She glanced over at Banner.

"I mean of course I want him to stop. But if I had fought with Grant to go home. To see my friends… I know it wouldn't have gone well. And now I'm here and all I can offer anyone is the fact that I fell in love with a guy that everyone pretty much hates. And I know you just want answers and I promise honesty but I'm kind over all the niceties and the emotional conversations. I'm just kind of over all of it. And I know it's your job and it's ridiculous that I am even ranting like a crazy person right now but I got all fired up all of a sudden and now I can't stop."

Penny sighed.

"Okay… I'm sorry. I'm all over the place. My emotions have gone completely haywire."

Romanoff smirked.

"No apologies are necessary Miss Holden."

Penny thought that she saw some sort of respect in Romanoff's eyes and she couldn't help but feel a bit proud.

"Thank-you. I'm done now. I'll just be going."

Bruce stepped out again.

"I'll unhook you there."

Penny nodded slightly embarrassed.

"Right thank-you Doctor Bruce. Banner… Doctor Banner."

He smiled as he freed her from the wires.

Out of the cords Penny stood and inclined to the Doctor and the Agent.

"I'll see you around."

Grant fell into step with Penny as she marched out of the lab.

"You're crazy you know that."

Penny smiled.

"I do know that. I have really come to realize that recently."

Grant grinned as they walked down the corridor.

* * *

><p>Kella made her way down the stairs regarding her environment rather suspiciously. She had greeted a fellow named Tim outside who had asked for the code word Barton had given her. As she followed Tim to where she trusted Barton would be she couldn't help but wonder about her surroundings. The strange tunnels were more like a lair than a home base. She smirked and wondered what she had gotten herself into.<p>

Tim led her to what seemed like the heart of the operation. Men were scuttling to and fro. Plastic walls were set up about something she couldn't see. She found Barton talking with a tall dark-haired man with strange fashion sense.

Tim didn't say anything to her after he took her to Barton. He just nodded at the other men and left.

Kella raised her eyebrows before calling out to him.

"Thanks Tim! I'll miss you!"

Barton nodded at her.

"Samantha."

Kella waved.

"Heya Barton."

The tall man turned to face Kella. He studied her for a moment before gesturing to Clint.

"Barton tells me you are a woman with a unique set of skills."

Kella narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah… I'm very good at getting things done. I have a certain way of doing things, always been successful."

The man nearly smiled.

"How?"

Kella chuckled.

"Hey I know I'm supposed to be working for you but this seems like a shady operation so I assume you can accept my shady assurances. I don't even know your name dude."

He tilted his head.

"My name is Loki."

Kella grinned.

"Great! What do you need from me to do Loki? Tell me now and I will either assure you that I can do it or I'll leave and give you a recommendation for someone else."

Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Someone else?"

Kella shrugged.

"It's not gonna happen I can do anything."

Loki was quiet for a moment.

"You are a spirited one." He inspected her once more, his eyes alighted on her arm and his demeanor changed slightly. "Your tattoos."

Kella looked down at her left arm, where from her wrist to her shoulder was decorated in ink.

"Are they going to be a problem?"

Loki shook his head. Gesturing to a specific part of her arm.

"The names. Who do they belong to?"

Kella tensed.

"Why?

Loki raised his eyebrows.

"Curiosity?" he suggested.

The jovial glint that seemed constantly present in Kella's eyes had, for the moment, vanished. It was her turn to study Loki. She looked over to Barton as well. She wondered what this was. Why the questions. Why there seemed to be fifty other people working for this guy. She wondered what kind of operation he was running. She wondered if she should run now. A voice in the back of her head told her that this was a bad place, that this was something she might not be able to get out of.

"The names are private." She smiled warmly, "What's the job?"

Loki returned her smile. Choosing to drop his inquiry of her tattoos.

"Protection."

Kella made an expression of confused amusement.

"You want me to protect you?"

Loki did not seem amused.

"Not protection for myself. There is someone of importance, who at this moment is being held in S.H.I.E.L.D custody. When I liberate her I will require your assistance in protecting her."

Kella nodded.

"She must be something terrible if S.H.I.E.L.D's got her locked up."

Loki shook his head.

"She is not a criminal."

Kella watched as an emotion entered into Loki's eyes.

"They withhold her for her connection to me." The distance in his eyes faded away and he looked to Kella. "Your task is to defend her and keep her safe. At all costs. Now we are nearly ready to begin. You will not be necessary immediately, however when your time comes I will require you to conduct your task perfectly without any harm coming to your charge."

Kella nodded.

"Got it. I chill out while you guys do whatever it is that you're doing and when you free this bird I keep her safe. I'm in."

Loki seemed pleased.

"You are acquiescing then."

Kella frowned.

"Yeah I'm… acquiescing, because you're going to pay me a shit ton of money."

Loki nearly rolled his eyes.

"You will be compensated greatly, given that no harm befalls Miss Holden."

Kella smiled.

"Ooh a name. I didn't know if I was gonna get that yet. Miss Holden will be perfectly safe with me."

Loki regarded her once more.

"Very well." He nodded at her before turning away.

Kella watched as he began to walk away.

"Wait, what am I protecting her from?"

Loki paused, glancing back at her. "Whatever danger she may fall prey to." He continued his exit down one of the hallways with Barton in tow.

Kella watched him go. She was at a loss in terms of understanding this entire situation. Loki was a hard man to read. Something was completely different with Barton but she supposed she didn't really know him that well. And then there was this Miss Holden. She wondered just what exactly this Holden chick meant to the man in charge.

As Loki made his way to Selvig he thought about his new employee. The blonde and pink haired woman was an intriguing individual. His initial thought when Barton had told him about her and his suspicions of her mutation was that he would simply influence her mind to protect Penny. His plan was altered however when he met her. Perhaps Sloane was only on his mind because this new woman was supposedly another mutant and Sloane was the only one he had encountered. But the moment he saw the blonde he was reminded of Penny's clever friend. The blonde who went by Samantha, which Barton had informed him was a pseudonym, possessed a likeness to Sloane. The curve of her chin, the setting of her eyes. Loki had ignored the similarities at first but then it was spelt out for him right there on her arm. Three names forever ingrained in her skin. One of them was Sloane. There was no doubt that she was connected to the motor-biking mutant. Loki considered that perhaps they had met through their mutations but he was more inclined to believe there was a familial connection. He shook his head, reminders of Penny were everywhere. He took a deep breath. He would see her soon. An excitement coursed through him. It was time to begin.

* * *

><p>Penny managed to convince Grant to bring her back to the bridge so she sketch. She stayed out of everybody's way. Sitting on the floor by the great window. She focused on her sketching, her hand flying about capturing cloud after cloud. Sketching brought about a serenity she desperately needed. The concentration freed her mind from everything else, allowing her to simply be without her situation dragging her down.<p>

Her peace was broken by a voice behind her.

"We got a hit. Sixty-seven percent match."

Penny froze.

"Weight, cross match, seventy nine percent."

She took a deep breath.

"Location?"

She exhaled quietly.

"Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Canning Strasse."

Her heart beat quickened.

"He's not exactly hiding."

She stood up.

Grant was by her side instantly. He gently grabbed her arm.

"Come on, I'll get you out of here."

Penny pulled away from him and marched up towards Captain America who was heading off the bridge.

Grant's eyes widened, "Penny! Come on."

She ignored him and quickened her pace until she fell in step with Rogers.

"You should take me."

Rogers looked surprised to see her, he stopped and looked kindly into her eyes.

"I understand that it may seem important to you that you should be there when we bring him in. But it will be best for everyone if you greet him here." He nodded at her and continued his exit into the hallway.

Penny kept up with him, Grant nervously following behind.

"I know you may think that it would be best but this is where I can actually help."

Rogers continued his brisk pace.

"Miss Holden, I am quite sure that you mean well and that we would benefit from your help but it would be too risky, there would be no guarantee for your safety."

Penny nearly tripped trying to keep up with him.

"Sure there would! Just not from you guys."

Rogers stopped and turned to her questioningly.

"What do you mean?"

Penny caught her breath.

"I mean that, if anyone was gonna guarantee my safety out there it'd be him. But that's not my point. Well it kind of is. Let me talk to him. Use me as bait. I don't care but any way you look at it I'm an asset in this situation."

Rogers almost sighed.

"Not necessarily. Excuse me. I have to change." He smiled at her and left the hallway.

Penny stared at the door he left through. She frowned.

"Well that was pointless."

Grant stepped forward.

"Come on it's too dangerous, and they can't have you as a distraction out there."

Penny rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a bloody distraction! I can do something! I know I can. This is probably my only opportunity to help, to actually help and not be a sad little damsel with useless information."

Grant sighed.

"I know you're frustrated Penny but you've just got to let this one go."

She glared at him.

"No. I can't let him do this. I have to try and stop him. I won't let anything else bad happen."

Another voice entered their conversation.

"Good."

Penny jumped slightly, bringing her hand to her chest.

"Agent Romanoff. You scared me."

The redhead almost smirked.

"You're coming with us."

Penny smiled.

"I am?"

Grant was dumbfounded.

"She is?"

Romanoff nodded.

"She is."

* * *

><p>Penny sat quietly in the little jet. She swung her legs back and forth absentmindedly. After boarding Romanoff and Rogers went about discussing their game plan. Romanoff explained to Penny that she was their 'Hail Mary'. Her presence would be revealed at the last possible moment and only if necessary. First Rogers would challenge Loki so they could gain whatever knowledge they could about his fighting style, motivation, or future plans. Then Rogers would, with the aid of Romanoff in the jet, bring Loki aboard where Penny's presence would hopefully help them keep him under control during the flight back to the helicarrier.<p>

Penny had quietly listened and nodded as they explained the plan to her. She was willing to do whatever they asked of her. She was just grateful that was on board. She disliked the idea of the Captain fighting Loki but she supposed it couldn't be helped. After the earlier discussion a silence had descended on the crew and the quiet allowed Penny to get lost in her thoughts. She still had no idea what she was going to say to Loki when she saw him. She couldn't even discern her emotions as they pertained to him. She didn't know if she was excited to put an end to his madness or if she was simply excited to see him. Her inner conflict was interrupted when Romanoff announced their arrival.

The redhead glanced back at the star-spangled superhero.

"You ready Captain?"

Rogers nodded, rising and walking to the rear of the jet.

Penny smiled at him.

"Good luck."

He nodded at her.

Penny looked out the front view to see the lights of city glowing brighter and brighter as they neared. She struggled against her harness to get a better view.

Suddenly the back of the jet opened up and Rogers leapt out.

The wind whipped Penny's hair about furiously until the door shut.

The jet continued its descent.

Penny closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them.

Soon a crowd began to take form on the ground. The jet kept moving closer and closer. And then she saw him.

He looked like an idiot.

Penny did not know what the hell he was wearing on his head. Or what the hell he was saying.

She stared at his form, watching him walk about the crowd that was on its knees. She felt anger. Anger that he was actually going about this whole 'take over the world' nonsense. Her earlier resolve to be ready to let him go reentered her mind. Fear enveloped her as she watched Loki point the magic staff at someone in the crowd.

Rogers appeared just in time to deflect the blow and surprising herself Penny hoped he would give Loki a few good hits. Romanoff announced their presence and received a shot from Loki's staff in response. Penny yelped in surprise as the jet rocketed to its side and back. As Rogers and Loki began to fight Penny's earlier anger disappeared and a feeling of uneasiness set in. The Captain might not be enough to take Loki down. She bit her lip nervously wishing that Romanoff would just hand her the p.a. announcer.

Suddenly AC/DC began to blast through the speakers and Penny was fairly certain it wasn't Romanoff's choice. She heard Tony Stark's voice and smiled leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the Iron Man with his weapons trained on the one she loved. She raised an eyebrow as Loki raised his hands in defense, and somehow made his ridiculous helmet disappear. Penny felt apprehension flutter around in her stomach like a rabid butterfly as the jet lowered down.

The rush of emotions that descended on her was familiar when it came to Loki and she hated the feelings that were currently most prominent: concern with a large dash of affection. She steeled herself as the back door opened to allow Steve and Tony to bring their cargo on board. Penny unconsciously began to hold her breath.

* * *

><p>AN: Oh hey... just nonchalantly throwing this up here... obviously I've been gone for quite some time... so theres that. All it comes down to is that I love you forever for reading this.

I'm actually going to finish Knotted now...

You're amazing if you actually read this.


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